2am babble. that's exactly what this is.

i miss,

+ simplicity
+ the way things used to be
+ sleep without dreams, without nightmares
+ comfort
+ honesty, innocence, and truth
+ interest
+ knowing it's going to be okay

haven't had much to write about lately. but when it gets late enough, there's always something lurking...somewhere. change is the only constant we have in life, and it is of course, inevitable. change seems to occur more and more rapidly as we get older. the world we've known throughout childhood is undergoing so many changes, and our new realities are thrust upon us whether we want them or not.

it is, however, important to remember how things used to be. a simpler time, when simple things meant the world. as we change and grow, it seems our threshold of interest, education, entertainment, skill--everything, is on the rise. it takes more to get us motivated, more to get us excited. this is of course, only natural, because we as humans are not static creatures. we are constantly shifting and evolving in many ways. Through such mediums as mind, body and culture, we realize and experience new things at any given moment. no time is the same as that before it, and it is this constant change that is progress, and growth, without which we might still be old world monkeys, picking shit out of each other's fur.

but we're not. and it is this progress that of course, makes us who and how we are today. yet i still find myself longing for what used to be. the time when we [as young adolescents, and/or what not] did not have to worry about bills. and eating the recommended 5-10 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. and saving energy. and running on the treadmill. and what other people think. and going on first dates. when things like this didn't matter. when we were taken care of. maybe that's what i'm getting at. i find i miss being taken care of, a little. this is not to say that i don't value my independence, which i wholly do [and i couldn't imagine myself without]. but, once in a while it might be nice to just be, without worrying.

maybe not. as we get older, and as we are accustomed to increasing responsibility for ourselves, we create our own preferences and habits. preferences and habits which could not have been forged without us, and our personal input, whether conscious or not. and i suppose, this would likely be part of the way in which we create our own personalities. the different ways we all are, the different ways we all dress, the different things we care about, all these things are not innate, and are shaped of course, in terms of our culture and the types of things and situations we are exposed to. however, as we learn and grow, we discover more and more about the world, and ourselves. this then reflects on our increasingly varying personalities, until we feel we've got it down pat, and we are who we want to be.

although, i doubt that day ever comes.

perhaps i'm writing this because i feel i grew up too fast. i wasn't able to get all that i feel i should have gotten. but then, can anyone actually say they KNOW they've gotten all they should have, and call it a day? life isn't prepackaged. there's no instruction manual. you take what you get, and you make the best of it.

because if you don't, then you're missing out, on this [potentially] beautiful life...